My Own Dear Brother - Holly Müller

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“Every year the saint came to the house. When Ursula was eight she and her brother Anton knelt on the window seat and looked out from the living-room window. The saint's white beard glinted in the torchlight; his tall bishop’s hat nearly touched the lintel and in his fat-fingered hands he clutched the curling golden staff and ancient book. His cheeks were dark like smoked ham, eyes half buried by pudgy lids - burnt currants peeping from an over-risen cake. Breath plumed from his purplish lips. Ursula looked for feet beneath his robes. Was he touching the ground or did he hover just above it?"


I met Holly Müller at a book signing at Waterstones in Cardiff, with no intention of buying a book at all. However, when I got talking to this fabulous lady I knew I had to buy this book. Not only is the cover beautiful, but the premise of the novel is stunning. It had me on the edge of my seat throughout, with a lot of moments where I had to just put it down to think. I'm still not sure I'm okay. 

Set during the course of the Second World War, in Nazi occupied Austria, we follow the Hildesheim family, in particular Ursula. Her brother, Anton, is a member of the Hitler Youth and is increasingly becoming more and more vindictive. Especially as Ursula befriends Schosi Hillier, a boy who is seen to be increasingly more odd than everyone else in the novel. The plot develops as Ursula starts to develop as a young woman, which just shows the strength that it takes to grow up during such a dark period in history. 

What I think Müller does incredibly well is show the Second World War in a new and interesting way. I had never seen a novel written from the other side, where there was a character who was was on the side of the Nazi regime. I had also never really read anything about Austria during the war, as much of the literature written by British historical fiction writers about World War II centres on the British involvement. Instead this focusses on Austria and running throughout the plot line is the involvement of the Russian forces. 

Additionally, I love that the plot of this novel doesn’t let up. It’s pacing could be seen as infuriating at times but this is reasonable in the build up of tension for later scenes. Particularly during part 2 there is a lot of waiting around on the part of Ursula and the farmer Herr Esterbauer, but I found this really important as we get to learn about Schosi's experiences. The two together really increase the tension throughout and there is something so intense about this part that wants you to keep reading and willing on characters.

Ursula is an interesting protagonist. She’s growing up throughout this novel and she can be seen as quite immature towards the start. She’s a known thief and she speaks out of turn, not really knowing or understanding anything that is going on. There is an understanding that something has happened between her and her brother, perhaps nothing sinister but there is a close relationship there, and this isn’t really discussed until the end of the novel when Ursula has grown up a little and knows better. Throughout we discover that Ursula is incredibly strong, and sometime this childish impulse helps her to gain a better understanding of herself and the situations she finds herself in. 

Schosi is also a character I love in this book. He’s, what I assume to be, autistic and is often hidden away by his mother. He’s got a piece of cloth that he winds around his finger when he’s nervous and a stutter and I think he is a beautifully written character. He doesn’t understand an awful lot, and gets scared incredibly easily, and I love that Ursula feels such a close connection to him. He’s incredibly childlike and innocent, thrust into the horror of a war torn state, forced to withstand torturous “treatments” and I think that Müller did an incredibly good job discussing the treatment of the disabled and those with mental illness during the war. 

I think my only qualm would be that the time frames all became a little fuzzy for me. I didn’t really know what time of the year it was, or if we’d even changed year. This made it a little more confusing towards the end as I didn’t know how old our protagonist was, or be able to work out from that the members of her family’s ages. This is often a confusion I have with novels that seem to span years, but there’s no real time specification. 

Overall this novel was a really tense exploration of the Second World War from a new perspective from a very strong and new narrative voice. I think that Holly Müller’s writing style lends itself to the darker side of literature, unafraid to tackle dark issues, whilst remaining an element of classical literature through her descriptions of settings and scenery. This book was a complete success that I would urge anyone with an interest in the genre, or not as the case may be, to give this book a go, despite how terrifyingly daunting its size looks. 

Total pages - 455
Total read time -  Untimed
Rating /10 - 7.5
Recommend - Yes

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World Poetry Day #2 - No Dead Poets; My Favourites

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As part of my Poetry module I have to study a whole range of poetry styles and forms, but in our seminars we follow one rule; No Dead Poets. As I’m sure you’d imagine, we’ve wandered from this once or twice, and I definitely will for my list, but I think that this is something that needs to be discussed. Contemporary poetry isn’t really taught in GCSE literature classes which inevitably leads to young people feeling rather vehemently against poetry. Yet poetry can be so much more than the traditional sonnets or the dark imagery produced by Blake or Coleridge. What I’ve learnt since September is that poetry can genuinely be written about anything. We’ve had so much fun writing poetry within our group at university, coming up with some really beautiful imagery, from the extended metaphor of a bakery talking about marriage equality, and an exceptional rant about feminism to deep and meaningful poetry surrounding bereavements within families, to the absolutely absurd with a brain in a jar on the dining room table. Poetry has so much room for personal expression. Poetry doesn’t even need a form or a structure; half the time it doesn’t even need to make a whole lot of sense, and yet it might just spark someone’s interest. This is why I love poetry. 

Dead Poets - Lets get these out of the way first. These are poets that I love who I know are dead but who I really enjoy reading their work still

Alan Ginsberg - Howl
Jack Kerouac - Daydreams for Ginsberg
Shakespeare - To Be or Not To Be (Hamlet)
Thomas Hardy - Beeny Cliff

Alive Poets

Anis Mojgani

John Dorsey - The Bride of Frankenstein 

Rhian Edwards 

Kate Tempest - Brand New Ancients

Melissa Lozada-Olivia 

Neil Hilborn

Kate Rokowski

This list is not exclusive obviously! There are so many others that I love but this is a pretty good start for people who want to look into poetry. Many of these are performance poetry which is something that I really love. If there are any others that you think I’d enjoy feel free to leave comments below! Enjoy World Poetry Day!

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World Poetry Day #1 - Stories, University Kitchen and The F-Word; My Poetry

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As a student of creative writing, I take a module in poetry writing. I’m currently working on my second portfolio of work, but I realised that I haven’t really released any work on here for you to read. Some of my favourites I’m unable to put up, because they are currently being considered for an anthology to be released in April, but I have a few that aren’t, that I am still incredibly proud of. These three poems below aren’t following any theme but they reflect different styles of poetry that I am fond of. Stories focusses on relationships and the feelings of new love, University Kitchen focusses on the sounds of words revolving around the washing up situation in university, and The F-Word is an exploration of the overuse of the the swear word. Hopefully you enjoy and please feel free to leave comments or constructive criticisms. 

Stories

You have a smile to light up a thousand rooms,
But you like the fairy lights to light up mine.
 
There’s a tenderness in your touch,
Tracing my back
Like a plotline on a page,
Your soft sounds
The dialogue,
Our Small kisses,
The punctuation.
 
You cross mountains on chests
And rivers in valleys between thighs,
Following our story until our plotlines
Intertwine like our fingers.
 
We lay back together on clouds
As the fairy lights turn into stars behind closed lids,
We are blissful,
We are blinded by tender touches;
We are my current favourite story.


University Kitchen

The clattering of cutlery on half cleaned plates
From breakfast,
Stains like halos linger the undersides of bowls
Whilst water drips
               Drops
                         Drips
Into empty glasses
Filling them for someone who’s not here yet.
 
I am lost in a mountain of milk bottles,
Searching through seas of uneaten cereal,
And dangerously stacked plates
To find a teaspoon.


The F-word (Not for the faint hearted)

I fucking hate how much I fucking swear,
Oh for fucks sake…
Fuck
 
Fuck doesn’t sound so fucking fun
When you say it all the fucking time
It sounds aggressive
Like you’re fucking around with where
You can put the fucking word.
 
But you taught me
everything’s so much more fucking fun with fuck
You can say fuck a duck
tell someone to fuck off
Or to fuck you
And you can scream fuck at the top of your lungs
As they fuck you into their bed and then fucking leave you
Because that’s all they fucking wanted.
 
I hate how much I fucking swear
Because saying fuck reminds me of fucking you and
God was that a fucking mistake.

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Crongton Knights - Alex Wheatle

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“Don’t answer the door!” barked Dad from the kitchen, the washing-up subs popping on his grimy white vest. 
“Mr Tambo!” a voice boomed from outside. It was deep. I imagined the owner of that tone strutting in the park with a rhino on a leash. “We know you’re in there! Let’s be adult about this, Mr Tambo. Let us in so we can sit down and talk about your repayments. This is not going to go away."
 I breathed in a dose pure fear. Why are we in so much deep debt? Dad’s working. Why won’t he give them he full score on what’s going on? Dad dried his hands on the dishcloth and then draped it over his shoulder. He looked at my older brother, Nesta, who was standing in the hallway only a couple of metres from our drawbridge. Dad beckoned him to retreat. Nesta shook his head. I put my fork down on my plate. Suddenly I didn’t love my pasta and mince even though i had grated some cheese on top to nice it up. The letter box crashed open again. My heart rumbled. 
“Mr Tambo!"

This is the first novel of Alex Wheatle’s that I have read, but I am aware of his novel Liccle Bit that is set in the same universe as this one. And I am so incredibly glad that I am able to dip back into this rich and vibrant world that Wheatle has created with these characters, all of whom I really enjoyed reading about. 

Crongton Knights follows McKay and his friends, Liccle Bit and Jonah, as they take on a mission to get back the phone of Venetia from her ex boyfriend. This mission means heading through North Crong to the dangers of Nortre Dame. On the way to get back this phone and after we learn of a riot in South Crong that endangers the lives of our characters further. 

What I think is so marvellous in Wheatle’s character development is the way in which he gives every one of the main group of characters their own voice, despite their obvious similar dialect, and each has a redeemable quality. The dialogue is also incredibly funny and witty and evokes a sense of place. You can tell that perhaps the boys are not from the good side of town through their use of slang, as well as sometimes being seen as poorly educated compared to some of the other characters. 

What I love most about the protagonist McKay is that he is an overweight young boy who has dreams of becoming a chef. He is stuck in Crongton with few to no prospects at all and has a lot of disruption in his life, particularly within his family. We all root for McKay to make the right decisions throughout the novel and I found myself really rooting for him to get the food he so desperately wants. This seems to be a theme throughout the novel, hunger, but not simply for food. There is a hunger for justice, for calm and peace and this theme links seamlessly with the second theme I found of loss. Everyone in this novel has lost someone, or hungers for something. 

Additionally, Wheatle’s female characters really stood out to me as a female reader. I felt that the two girls, Venetia and Saira, were incredibly strong and therefore impressive. It is mostly to do with their cultural upbringing but both of these girls really prove themselves when it comes to standing up to those who try to belittle them, and they really prove that they are important members of the mission team. However this does not mean they don’t show weakness. Venetia in particular spends a long period of the novel crying which did feel a little overwhelming and yet necessary. She is incredibly sad talking about her losses in the past, and therefore her crying is really the only possible reaction for her to have. 

Overall I thought this book was incredibly enjoyable. I can’t wait to get back into reading some more of Alex Wheatle’s work because I genuinely think that he will become one of my new favourite writers, who inspires some of my own work. I highly suggest that people go and seek out this book, especially anyone with a fascination for the underground London vibe. 

Total pages - 304
Total read time -  Untimed
Rating /10 - 7.5

Recommend - Yes

This book was provided as an ARC by NetGalley but has recently been published. Forgot that I hadn't posted this review yet... oops!

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The Book Worm Tag!

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Happy World Book Day! I was tagged by Beth at The Cat’s Out the Bag and I love all of these questions. I want to tag another Beth at Curly and Wordy, and Victoria at TheBookworm88!



Do you remember how you developed a love for reading?
I’ve always been read to from as early as I can remember,  but I think my newest return to reading was when I picked up Tom Rob Smith’s “The Farm” and I binge read the whole thing. It was the first book I’d read since my A Level coursework books and I realised how much I loved reading for myself. 

Where do you usually read?
Usually reading for me takes place in bed. It’s usually when I’m bored with nothing better to do. So whilst i say it’s usually in bed, it’s more than likely you’ll find me curled up on the sofa at home with a cuppa and a book, or even on a coach on the way home from university. The joys of having a kindle means that I don’t have to carry all my books with me!

Do you prefer to read one book at a time or several at once?
I always prefer to read one at a time. I feel that way I give every book the attention it deserves. But sometimes you just can’t help it. I’ve got a couple on the go at the moment, re-reading one and starting a new one. I find sometimes I’ll start a book but will put it down because I’m not feeling reading it at that moment in time. It’s just a matter of preference at the time. 

What is your favourite genre?
I am a huge fan of contemporary or YA literature. Fantasy always has an appeal but I always feel that the world lack something in the way of development unless they’re part of a huge series, and as a huge Harry Potter fan I struggle getting into any other kind of fantasy world. Contemporary novels concerning family issues really intrigue me because I’ve always felt incredibly lucky with my family, and I love YA books about growing up and LGBT issues because I love to see how the younger generation are being influenced through their choices of literature. 

Is there a genre that you will not read?
Ooooh here we go. I’m not a fan of paranormal novels or new adult. I find them too cliché and there’s something about them that doesn’t sit too well with me. I also am not a huge fan of definite romances where there’s instal-love scenarios or love triangles. They just irk me and it if I see anything about them in a blurb I will just not want to read on about it. 

Do you have a favourite book?
This is in the same category as picking my favourite disney film or character. I don’t think I can physically choose one. The Harry Potter series will always have a place in my heart, as will the new addition of the "Chaos Walking Trilogy" by Patrick Ness. Benjamin Alire Saenz’s “Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe”, M R Carey’s “The Girl with All the Gifts” and Virginia Macgregor’s “The Astonishing Return of Norah Wells” are all books that I’ve binge read and fallen in love with for their writing style and the way they’ve made me think about my own life. I simply can’t pick one. 

What is your least favourite book?
I always try and find positives in every book I read. But probably “Northanger Abbey” by Jane Austen or L.P. Hartley’s “The Go Between”. Both of these are quite classic literary novels and there’s something about being forced to read books in school that makes me hate them quite literally. Both of these books made me feel really angry at their protagonists, had really dull storylines and I think the only think I liked about “The Go Between” was the fact that we could all write about sexual tension. 

What is the longest book you’ve ever read?
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, 766 pages! But I do own "Anna Karenina” by Leo Tolstoy which is a whopping 964 pages! That’ll be a long read! 

What was the last book you bought?
I bought two the last time I went to buy a book; Ali Smith’s “How to be Both” and “The Loney” by Andrew Michael Hurley. (Actually these aren’t the last books I bought, but the other one is my mum’s mother’s day present so shhhh). The last book I was sent a review copy for was “The Sudden Appearance of Hope” by Claire North. 

Do you prefer library books or buying books?
I love buying books. As much as I love a library, the books can tend to get dogeared, the spines bent, and if I love the sound of a book I won’t mind spending the money on it. Plus I love knowing that I own so many books! 

What are you currently reading?
Re-reading - Douglas Adams’ “The HitchHiker’s Guide to the Galaxy"
Making my way through - Garry Apgar's edited book of essays called “A Mickey Mouse Reader” 
Reading - "The Bombs That Brought Us Together" by Brian Conaghan (Due for release April 30th)

Where do you buy your books?
Waterstones or Amazon. But I prefer being able to go to Waterstones and look around at books I may never have searched for online

Do you preorder books?
I think I’ve only ever preordered one book; Patrick Ness’ “The Rest of Us Just Live Here” because it was a limited edition hardback that was signed and it was beautiful in every way. I tend to get a lot of prerelease books so I don’t tend to preorder unless there’s a really good reason for it. 

How many books do you buy a month?
Depends. Usually around 2 or so, depending on how many I’ve been given as a prerelease and how much I want to eat because all the money I spend on books is really for my food at university. 

How do you feel about second hand charity shop books?
I love a good charity shop book. Especially if they’ve got notes in. This sounds really hypocritical because what I love about charity shop books is what I hate about library books. I love that they’re worn in and they could be noted and I love seeing other people’s interpretations of books. 

Do you keep your read and TBR books together?
At the moment no, because the books I have at university are the books I have not read yet. I tend to only bring those with me. Then if I’m reading them I tend to leave that at home if they’re finished. On my Kindle I tend to have them jumbled up. 

Do you plan to read all the books you own?
I’d like to try. A lot of them I have read, but there are some like “Anna Karenina” and “Lolita” which will take a lot of willpower to get through. 

What do you do with the books you know you won’t re-read?
I keep them… which is really bad because I could always donate them. But I love seeing them on my bookshelf. I love being able to look up and see a physical representation of what I’ve read and how much I’ve engaged with novels of a specific author. It’s just a really rewarding thing to see. Plus there are some book covers which are just outstanding. 

Have you ever donated books?
No but I would like to. 

Have you ever been on a book buying ban?
I should probably be on one right now. I have been before when I had over 20 books in my TBR and I’m pretty sure I’m over that number now. But there are so many interesting new releases coming out that all my old books tend to get pushed back further and further and it drives me crazy! 

Do you think you own too many books?
Ha! Is there such a thing?! Too many books! Who would’ve thought it. For an accurate answer ask my bank account or my mother. But for me, there’s no such thing. Books hold a world and wealth of knowledge and interesting ideas about the world and they are a great way to expand your mind and really engage with something new. Reading has helped me through some really dark times. So I’d say there’s no such thing as too many books! 

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